Seems its officially 2007 now.  My new years went by without a bang.  Woke up at 11:10PM and went to work.  Just around midnight I was starting up my EDM machines.  Yay.

I came to a realization tonight that will be helping me for quite some time.  That realization is that "Everything is going to be okay".  It seems no matter how little money we have, we can pull through.  And you know what?  At this point in time I finally hit the flat spot.  The stretch where you can be okay, when everything is semi-normal and there aren't any large speed bumps ahead.  I've hit the salt flats, and they are good.

I always think about what I don't have, and what I need, but then I always forget to look at what I have, and what I really don't need.  I've got an amazing loving wife who does a shit ton for me, I've got a decent paying job and a new job and a raise on the way, I have my somewhat decent health, I have food to eat, toys to play with, a roof over my head, and a Dog that grew up to become my best friend.  I've got everything I need plus some, and now that I realize this, I feel quite content with my life.

Of course in the somewhat near future we will be moving to a new place, thinking about babies, whatever else the future might hold.

On a seperate, more technical note, I have to say that I have no clue how to configure any sort of wireless network.  To me, wireless networks use advanced forms of witchcraft and magic to make those magical packets float invisibly through the air.

I assume, since my laptop has a built in networking card, I could just buy a WAP and attach it to my router.  Seems a bit more simple than trying to connect my laptop to my main PC using an old shitty wireless card, in an attempt to network in Ad Hoc mode.

Also, just barely over 2 weeks til the Burning Crusade.  Hopefully I'll get my 5 day weekend so I can play the shit out of this the instant it comes out.  Ugh, spending $120 to upgrade all of our accounts is going to suck.

Year end inventory in my EDM shop.  No room for error.  Accountants looking at my numbers at 8AM.  Its 2AM and I'm almost half way done, but the hardest part is still on the horizon. 

Yet again I ask, Why Me?

And I'm back at work.  Did I really just have 4 days off?  Doesn't feel like I did at all.

I made out really well this Christmas and ended up getting a hell of a lot more than I expected or deserved.  Here is a list of what I got :

Magnavox 32" LCD HDTV (Mom)
Wolf FPS Gaming Keboard/Controller (Mom)
Logitech G15 Gaming Keyboard (Dad)
Norelco Electric Razer (In laws)
Laptop Case (that is too small for our monstrous laptop)(Dad)
Wireless Mouse for Laptop (Bro)
Plus clothes, socks, underwear, slippers, pajamas, and gift cards galore.

We ended up going to Freddie's today and picking up a Black and Decker dust buster, a wired XBox 360 controller (for use on my PC too), and an HDMI cable so we can hook up the laptop to the new 32" LCD.

On a side note, yesterday while at my dad's house, my step-sister's husband asked me to look at their 1 year old laptop and see if I could figure out why it was so slow.  Well, the damn thing only had 256mb of RAM in it, and the graphics card in it didn't have any memory on the actual card, so it leeches an addiational 64mb of RAM from the system memory, leaving them a whopping 192mb of RAM to try and run XP with.  I told him he should go buy a 512 stick and throw it in there to increase the performance drastically.  Man, who buys a computer with less than 512mb of RAM these days?  My laptop came with 1gb of RAM, and I feel that I undercut it by not getting 2gb of RAM...

Yes, I have a Laptop on the way.  Steph and I were finally able to get some financing through HP, so not only will we be getting a laptop, we will be improving her credit score at the same time.

So, its an HP dv9000t, and its fucking rad.  It will more than likely be replacing my desktop PC.
Here are the specs :

1.66Ghz Intel Core Duo 2 Processor
1024mb of RAM
512mb GeForce Go 7600 graphics card
80gb 5400RPM SATA Hard drive
17" Ultrabright XVGA+ screen
CD/DVD Burner combo drive

I think this Laptop miiiiiight be able to run WoW...

TOP 5 REASONS WHY THIS WEEK ROCKS

1.  I got a new job within Evanite!  I am now officially the graveyard Quality Control Technician!  It is a pretty cushy job,  I'll never have to bale again, and my lab has a heater and an AC unit!  Best part is, soon after I start working the job, I will be getting my yearly cost of living raise, along with my shift differential, I will be making $18.25 an hour, up from my current $15.02 an hour.  Not bad for having only a high school diploma.  Oh, and this job will also allow me time and space to do homework at work, so going to school will be a breeze.

2.  Castlevania : Portrait of Ruin.  Best Castlevania yet.  2 playable characters that you switch between, or can use at the same time, along with it being the first castlevania since 3 that has lots of outdoor environments.  If you have a Nintendo DS, there is no reason for you not to pick up this great game.

3.  World of Warcraft 2.01.  I will now be able to get Grand/Field Marshal gear for my Paladin with a relatively much less painful PvP grind.

4.  I just got my paycheck of $1032.00, and don't have to pay my car payment this month.  Woot.

5.  PARTY AT OUR HOUSE TOMORROW NIGHT AT 8PM!

So far, so good...

So, if seniority and my predictions work out, I might have a new job at work.  I'll still be on graves, but instead of being an EDM machinist, I'll be a Quality Control Technician.  There are pros and cons of this job, but the pros far out weigh the cons.

Cons : No more weekends off.  Instead, I have wedsnesday and thursday off again.

Pros :  I'm gonna be making $17.50 an hour, over $2 more an hour than I am making now, and I'll be working sundays, which count as 8 hours of overtime.  I'll be doing QC work, so I wont be getting oily, and I'll be in a lab all night testing fiber samples to make sure they are within our specified control limits.

I'm crossing my fingers, cause an extra $300 a month would really rock right about now.

Well, Steph took my car out driving today while I was asleep, and apparently she can get around without stalling it too much.  She went and traded some games in for me and I was able to get Final Fantasy XII for under $2, so it didn't really dent our finances too much.  Wes said he was going to be picking up Guitar Hero 2 for me as a late wedding present, and I know they have it at the K-Mart, so we'll have to head over there before the party tomorrow night and grab that.

And for those of you who don't know, PARTY AT MY HOUSE FRIDAY NIGHT!

So, if you wanna come to our cocktail party, dress up semi-nice in cocktail drab, and show up to our house at around 8PM.  We have plenty of booze, but bring some if you can so we can cocktail the night away.  Is Jack and Coke a cocktail?  If not, it is now.

Thank god its friday.  1 month until I can drive again.  This is going to suck

Okay, finalized the lyrics for the new Fusion Ball song "Mirror".  The song is namely about the first 7 years of my life, before my brother was born.  During that age, my parents both worked 60+ hour a week jobs, and was left at day care and with baby sitters for most of my first 7 years.  It wasn't until my mom was pregnant with my brother that she quit her job to be a stay at home mom.  Was I completely neglected as a child?  No, but I really didn't see much of my parents at that point in my life. 

Here are the lyrics, and afterwards I will walk you through them and explain what they mean exactly :

The mirror says "All good things come to an end",
Bunny rabbit doll, was my only friend.
A quicksand bridge and the ghost outside the fence,
A spaceship in the sand using driftwood for defense.

All that I know is I'm alone,
Because in my head it feels like home,
To me.
And when I hear the sound,
I know I'm found.

The mirror says "I'm not a voice inside your head"
Albino children telling lies of cigarettes.
Pick up the phone, but write a letter instead.
Soda pop and wagon wheels stain my hands red.

All that I know is I'm alone,
Because in my head it feels like home,
To me.

Okay, whatcha think?  Kinda kooky right?  Well, lemme explain.  First off, I had an imaginary friend during this time period.  I was very, very lonely at this point in my life.  The only friends I had were the neighbor kids, and they were a good 5 years older than I was, so all I ever did was watch them play Nintendo, cause I wasn't allowed to do anything else with them.  This imaginary friend, though I never gave "it" a name looked almost identical to me, and could only be seen when looking into mirrors.

The mirror says "All good things come to an end",
Bunny rabbit doll, was my only friend.

That line is in reference to the last time I ever remember seeing my "imaginary" friend.  I remember somehow getting in a fight with them because it told me that everyone around me was going to die, and to my knowledge at the time, my large stuffed bunny rabbit was my only protection from this imagined "friend".

A quicksand bridge and the ghost outside the fence,
A spaceship in the sand using driftwood for defense.

The quicksand bridge was part of a re-occuring dream I had up until the age of 10 or so.  I would be camping somewhere near the beach, and at night time there would be these strange ghosts that would come out, and every time the sun would go down, I would rush to the camper we were staying in, but it always had a moat of quicksand, and a bridge made of a 2x4.  I always seemed to fall into the quicksand as the ghosts on the outer parimeter closed in.

The second line is in reference to a time I was at the beach with my dad.  For some reason, I swore that this large piece of driftwood was the outer facade of a alien-esque robotic space ship.  This piece of driftwood was very large, and was the remainder of the root system of a very, very large tree.  I dunno why, but I made my dad stay with me at this thing for a good 2 hours, waiting for the robots to return.

The mirror says "I'm not a voice inside your head"
Albino children telling lies of cigarettes.

When I first told my mom about my imaginary friend, she told me I was hearing things, and letting my imagination get to me.  To this day, my mom doesn't believe in psychological disorders, so having an imaginary friend to her was blasphemous.  That is also when the imagined friend told me that they were real, and that I wasn't hearing things.

The albino children are from the family that baby sat me when I was younger.  My baby sitter had several siblings that were albino, and would sometimes come over with their sister when I was being baby sat.  I remember the boy, who was 3 years older than me, was trying to get me to smoke cigarettes he stole from his sister.  I was 5, and no, I never tried them.

Pick up the phone, but write a letter instead.
Soda pop and wagon wheels stain my hands red.

My dad used to work from home on occasion, and would pick up the phone and call someone and start writing lots and lots of stuff on pieces of paper.  I always thought he was writing letters while on the phone, and at the time, it didn't make much sense to me.

The following line is about the large scar I have on my left palm.  When I was 5, I went out to the garage to get a bottle of coke, and tripped on my wagon handle on the way back in, breaking the glass bottle and cutting a large gash in my hand.

The chorus of the song is pretty self explanitory.  I was very, very alone during the first seven years of my life, and it seems as if my imagination was truly my only friend, and it got the best of me on more than one occasion.

So, whatcha all think now?

It seems as if my mental state, especially as of late, has been deteriorating.  No, I'm not going Emo, for I'm particularly happy with my life.  I'm talking about the constant war my conscience and sub-consience fight for my perception of reality.

Yes, I'm a diagnosed paranoid schitzophrenic, albeit very mild.  It is sad, knowing that insanity runs in the family on my mother's side.  My grandmother, for the last 10-15 years of her life was quite delusional and ver disconnected from reality, and I'm really afraid that one day I'm going to wake up one day and be still be asleep, lost in a waking dream.

I find myself, more and more, being taken over by day dreams, and having a very hard time escaping from them.  I could be having a conversation, driving, or anything for that matter and I'll just phase out and find myself lost in an alternate reality inside my mind, not to mention my OCD over time is still driving me nuts, especially at work.  The OCD isn't particularly about clocks, but more along the lines of knowing precisely when I need to do specific tasks, especially work related ones, to get specific things done.  I also constantly calculate the hours and minutes until I have to get ready for work, which is always 11:15 PM every night.

Oh well, worst case scenerio is I'm lost in my mind forever.  Not like its really that bad in there anyways...

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